Ruin and Rising(halfway through review)

Well... I'm only halfway through this book and I'm already depressed. Nikolai... How could Leigh be so cruel? Why can't he just not be possessed by demons? I hate the Darkling so much... This book is majorly confusing my feelings because I hate him but every time he leans in close to Alina I think Kiss!Kiss!Kiss! then she remembers all the horrible things hes done and pulls away. But my emotions are still confused. Is it because I like it when characters play with the dark side? Does it attract me, or am I so in tune with Alina I just feel like she does? I'm going to go with the latter. I really loved learning more of Baghra's back story and the Darklings. Its fun to imagine him as a little boy. Also, BAGHRA! I'm so sad. That was a beautiful sacrafice she made to save them all :'( Anyway that's the Darkling by the way, just found this cool gif:

 Nikolai... I stopped talking about him earlier, because it was to hard. I do not believe I have ever felt this amount of grief for a fictional character who is not even dead.This fate is worse then death though. He made a fool of the Darkling and now the Darkling controls him. No one fights the Darkling and walks away without a scar. This is so hard to even type about. I was literally gasping as I read the dreaded scene. It was really hard to sleep because every time I thought his name I woke up. Nikolai was a bright handsome character who could charm the shoes off an racehorse mid stride. It sucks that he is anything less now. They need to find a way to save him because I need to see the Nikolai-Alina wedding.

I can't type about him anymore. David and Genya <3 love them. Nadia and Tamar, I knew they were meant to be the second the first flirt slid out of Tamar's lips. I must say she is a smooth talker. Nadia, well shes just as sweet. Its weird but I ship Alina with 3 people. Mal is the third not last or least. He just needs to put her against a wall and kiss her like keeps saying he wants to. Who cares if you grow old and die before she does? Just love Alina already!

I will write another entry about this book when I finish...if I live without dying from feels.